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We spend a lot of time finding ourselves loving people who do not serve us. Constantly allowing people into our space, without ensuring these said people have good intentions. This however is my flaw, I always want to believe the best in people, regardless what I’m told about the said people. This is because I was always judged growing up, everyone had an opinion of who I am without so much as getting to know me. As a result I always made sure that I spent no time learning about people from anyone other than themselves. I despised the notion of sitting with someone and them telling me about another person’s character. This was especially the case if I did not know the person. I had no time for gossip, malicious talk or discussions about other people’s lives. I did not want to know about people’s lives, and I also had no business hearing about what people had o day about mine. The – he said, she said – talk, could miss me.
When I went into university I did not have life time friends, this is because neither I nor the friends I had, truly comprehended what it meant to have real friends. I always felt like something was missing, and this is not as a reflection of them, but rather me. I had absolutely no idea what being a true friend looked like, so I could not give real friendship, nor receive it. This is until I met the people who have changed me to what I am today. My left and right part of my heart, Mweneni and Theopo. These two beautiful souls taught me what friendship looks like.
I recall meeting these two lovely souls and feeling confused out my mind, their ability to love wholesomely puzzled me. I could not understand how one could be so selfless, because they would offer to run errands for me, offer to take off my workload by helping and be so present it confused me. I had lived life always watching out for me first, and here I had two friends who watched my back they way they do their own. I had prayed that God give me lifetime friends, I was shocked at how beautifully he answered my prayer. I was never ready.
There is one particular incident in my life that I will never forget. I was coming from Cape Town after a horrible experience; I had gone after failed love and lost my luggage on my way back. I was distraught at the amount of money spent, my lost possessions and my broken heart. Mweneni and Theopo were both there to receive me from the bus, and spent the afternoon crying with me. The purity of this, that my friends would cry at the sight of my tears, because their love for me was that deep rooted touched me in ways I cannot explain. It was after that incident that my life changed. I completely changed.
I came from being the party girl who couldn’t wait for Friday to come around, so I could go party the weekend away. I transformed into a woman who studied through weekends and pulled through studying engineering. I came from believing in God and living in sin, to taking up my relationship with God with more intention and living right. I completely changed my life.
The interesting thing is at no point did my friends pressure me into changing my life, they simply provided me with support and love. It is in that love and support that I found comfort and found myself able to transform into a better me.
I fell along the way, I got it wrong many times, but I always had them by my side.
"They taught me that one never spends time looking at the external parts of a person, but you search their hearts. The heart never lies and will tell you everything you need to know about this person. The heart is where the depth of a person lies, and the heart never lies."
I was able to build more relationships as a result of Theopo and Mweneni teaching me what true friendship looks like. I have since been able to have my heart extended to my “soul mate” I call her, she is the addition to my heart and has become the triangle to my heart, she is Twenty-One. I have always had Atallia, but we were young and did not know how to be good to each other. I recently rekindled that friendship, it was dormant for a very long time, it is my hope that we can find each other again. Regardless how far we strayed, we always found our way back to each other. I hold many people close to my heart, Mutaleni, Tuli and Lynn form a part of that love.
I look forward to writing my book of friendship, because the purest form of love, is found in friendship.
I treasure it, I treasure them.
With a tad bit of crazy
Mavis